BELIEVE IN YOURSELF
I
was 18 years old when I got married. I
belong to a very conservative Baloch family, where good daughters never say no
to their parents. My father wanted me to
get married, and all I said was, "If that makes you happy, "I will
say yes." And, of course, it was never a happy marriage. After two years of getting married, I had a
car accident about nine years ago. Somehow,
my husband fell asleep, and the car fell in the ditch. He managed to jump out, save himself. I'm happy for him. But I stayed inside the car, and I sustained
many injuries. The list is a bit long. The radius and ulna of my right arm were
fractured, the wrist was fractured, shoulder bone and collar bone were
fractured, my whole ribcage got fractured.
But that whole injury that changed me and my life ultimately was the
spine injury. Many people came to
rescue, that gave me CPR, that dragged me out of the car, and while they were
dragging me out, I got the complete transaction of my spinal cord. Those two and a half months in the hospital
were dreadful. I was on the verge of
despair. One day, a doctor came to me,
and he said, "Well, I heard that you wanted to be an artist, "but you
ended up being a housewife. "I have
bad news for you. "You won't be
able to paint again." The next day, the doctor came to me and said,
"Your spine injury is so bad "; you won't be able to walk
again." I took a deep breath, and I said, "It's all right." The
next day, the doctor came to me and said, "Because of your spine
injury" and the fixation that you have in your back, "you won't be
able to give birth to a child again." That day, I was devastated. I started to question my existence. Why am I even alive? So what kept me going was, one day, I asked
my brothers, "I know I have a deformed hand, "but I'm tired of
looking at these white walls "in the hospital and wearing these white
scrubs. "Bring me some colors,
bring me some small canvas. "I want
to paint." So the very first painting I made was on my deathbed,
where
I painted for the very first time. What
an amazing therapy it was. Without
uttering a single word, I could paint my heart out. I could share my story. People used to come and say, "What
lovely painting. "So much
color!" Nobody could see the grief in it.
Only I could. And that day, I
decided that I would live life for myself.
I am not going to be that perfect person for someone. I am just going to take this moment, and I
will make it ideal for myself, and I'm going to fight my fears. So, I wrote down, one by one, all those
fears, and I decided that I was going to overcome those fears one at a
time. Do you know what my biggest fear
was? Divorce. But the day I decided that this was nothing
but my fear, I liberated myself by setting him free, and I made myself
emotionally so strong that the day I got the news that he was getting married,
I sent him a text that I was so happy for you, and I wish you all the
best. And he knows that I pray for him
today. Number two was that I wouldn't be
able to be a mother again, which was quite devastating for me. But then I realized there are so many
children in the world. All they want is
acceptance.
So
there is no point in crying, go and adopt one, and that's what I did. I gave my name to different organizations,
different orphanages, and I waited patiently.
Two years later, I got this call from a tiny city in Pakistan. I got a call, and they said, "Are you
Muniba Mazari?
"There
is a baby boy, and would you like to adopt?" I could feel the labor
pains. Yes, yes, I am going to adopt
him! I am coming to take him home. And that day, Neal was two days old, and
today he's six. You know, when you end
up being in the wheelchair, what's the most painful thing? People think that other people will not
accept them because we are imperfect in the world of perfect people. So I decided to appear more in public. I started to paint.
I
have done a lot of modeling campaigns. I
decided that I would join the national TV of Pakistan as an anchorperson. I became the National Global Goodwill
Ambassador for UN Women Pakistan, and now I speak for the rights of women and
children. I had featured in BBC 100
Women for 2015. I'm one of the Forbes 30
Under 30 for 2016. So, when you accept
yourself the way you are, the world recognizes you. It all starts from within. We have this fantastic fantasy about
life. This is how things should work. This is my plan; it should go as per my plan.
If
that doesn't happen, we give up. I never
wanted to be in the wheelchair, never thought of being in the wheelchair. This life is a test and a trial, and the
tests are never supposed to be easy, so when you're expecting ease from life,
and life gives you lemons, you make the lemonade, and then do not blame life
for that. It is OK to be scared; it is
OK to cry. Everything is OK, but giving
up should not be an option. They always
say that failure is not an option.
Failure should be an option because when you fail, you get up, and when
you die, you get up, which keeps you going.
Embrace every breath you are taking, celebrate your life, live it. Don't die before your death. Real happiness lies in gratitude, so be
grateful, be alive, and live every moment!
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